Jesus Year...

I have to send a shout out to all my family and friends who helped me ring in my "Jesus Year" as I was so informed. I understand he died at the age of 33. Yes, I'm 33. The good thing is I don't feel any older. Which is fabulous. I went to Cafe Mozart to have some dinner with a small group of friends and had a great time.
I LOVE that place. It has great food and of course their speciale is DESSERT. When the symphony began playing after a fabulous dinner and conversation I knew my delicious chocolate brownie with creamy fudge melted and oozing on the inside was on it's way. What I didn't realize is what also came with it. A Mozart wig. As the chorus sang to me over the speaker system backed by an orchestra of an operetic rendition of "Happy Birthday," the wig was placed on my head and a sparkling dessert settled right in front of me. I was in the spotlight yes and a little flushed. Throughout the week friends are getting together to hang out which is all I really want since I'll be leaving soon and won't see them for a while. It's an ongoing party. Love to you all.

Staying Fit...

In my efforts to keep up the rigorous activity I had on the ship, I joined Bally's. Thanks to my cousin, I have a cheaper rate through Ohio than I would if I had joined in NYC. It was lovely because I didn't know she had a Bally's membership and she offered her help. I thought I was going to be bugging friends about helping me out with the friends and family special. Instead, I just had family. Anyway, I'm proud that I actually followed through and went to the gym the whole week as if I were on a ship doing my workout. The only difference was that it was A LOT more crowded than it was ever on the ship. Especially at the time I went. On the ship everyone was gorging themselves at the buffet or in the dining room around 6:30pm, but in NYC that's prime time for working out especially just after the new year. Oy! So it's been a month and some weeks since my last vigorous work out on the ship. After the first couple days it felt great. My body felt better and I felt good about staying fit again without letting myself go before I got to rehearsal. Then I started to notice the pain. The biggest was after my chest work out. Oh my God! I could barely take on and off my jacket the next few days. I'm sure it'll get better now that I'm back into it. This will definitely make the transition easier from this break into rehearsal again. Hopefully when I go into rehearsal I won't be going through all that soreness like I did last year. I'm going through it now when I don'have to jump around for 8 hours in a day.

Sadam as Bush’s Advisor?

Well, I was reading in the little Metro paper that the subway hands out for free this morning. It’s a small way to keep up with the times. Apparently Google is taking a stand and not abiding by the warrant to give the government access to the search databases where Yahoo just flat out gave this information to the government. This is a way for the government to step in and see who is searching where. It also violates the Privacy Act and certain freedoms we enjoy here in the United States. Bush evidently found a loophole in the law that prevents him from abusing the power of wire taps, reading e-mails, and the like. More and more I’m thinking we’re progressing to third world status and frankly it’s embarrassing. So many people come here looking for opportunity and freedom from repression and now we’re a laughing stock throughout the world. Canada’s now the new best place to live with national healthcare (no PPOs or HMOs to cut holes in your pockets) and certain social freedoms. With our government now pushing wire taps, search warrants on search engines, and all other kinds of privacy violations our rights to live as we please are being tossed out the window. Along with the scare tactics of Bush and his minions feeding us news about terrorist threats, asking Muslims to register with the government, holding and torturing captives in foreign detention centers and allowing Christian groups to rule this country with their closed minded beliefs (even though his popularity poll is sinking rapidly among all groups), I have to wonder if Sadam is giving him advice on how to run this country. It seems like we’re turning into a dictatorship rather than a democracy here. Of course the fools who voted him into office because they were “scared” about invasion or worried about their big fat paychecks didn’t look at the other aspects of his stupidity in the first 4 years. He can’t handle things well. September 11 and now Hurricane Katrina are prime examples of how he’s just been a “deer in headlights” leader. What’s next? Is he going to ask the gays to register with the government fearing that we’ll rise up and take over the country demoralizing his land and upsetting his beloved closed minded Christian groups? Will he start ransacking our homes like they did before the constitution was written and arresting people for some of the stupid laws in various states that violate our freedoms? Is he going to start arresting people who speak out against his inefficiencies until they apologize? He’s just pouting in my opinion because he’s a kid who didn’t get his way. Grow up and take responsibility.

Don't Tell Mama...

Shut up! I was doing laundry last night and guess who should call? Heather!!! I was excited to hear from her. Sad to tell her I was doing laundry on a Friday night, but I was deceived by the early darkness of winter thinking it was much later than it actually was. She asked if I could get together and my initial response was that I was just about to dry clothes then I checked the clock. It was only 6pm!!! Of course I could get together if I was just about to dry clothes. That would take an hour at most. So the clothes were dry and packed away for later and I met Heather around 8 in the city. She was there taking classes and auditioning. She only lives in Boston so it's not THAT far away. Her room, she says, was just like on the ship. It was so good to see her again and I was instantly happy. Now we were in Times Square and figuring out what to do. So we decide to go for drinks at Don't Tell Mama, a cabaret bar. After some fumbling around trying to find it we got there and had our first round of martinis. What should soon be playing in the background?!? Don't Go Breakin' My Heart!! Shut Up!! It was a live performance of course with the piano man and one of the bar staff. The night goes on as we put back another martini each. What's next is Proud Mary!! Yikes!! We start doing choreo and laughing having a good time. I knock over a martini glass. No breakage. Then a crazy.com starts talking to us. He seemed okay at first. Just normal queeny man at the piano bar. He even said "Shut Up" (which I think is catching on around the country since I'ce heard it amongst my friends AND on TV). He seemed normal until he really started to get into full queen and was getting too touchy feely for me. Then him and Heather went out for a cig where I lose some of the details. I only know that he was deemed crazy.com then. For those who don't know, "crazy.com" was our term on the ship for deeming people slightly to wholly off. It's pretty obvious, but the story behind it is very long (well in my terms). It involves websites, clicking on pictures, and winning the most votes for being crazy. Yet another martini goes back and Walkin' In Memphis gets sung. I, of course, being a sap got caught up in the memory of that song. I started to miss everyone. Love all my Zaandamers very much. We decide to have one more. This ending up being our fourth and I was pretty sassy, lol. We still hadn't heard anything from our Broadway show. Oh! Wait for it. Almost. Almost. Ahh. There we are. The pianist is back and playing New York State of Mind. Complete. Full round of songs and a night of memories. Don't Tell Mama was also so much fun. There's a just a great energy there and very small. Kind of like the crew bar on the ship. Good times, good times. Anyway, break a leg today Heather (but not in the literal sense). I'm always a little nervous to say that to people in our cast considering the events, lol. Oh so one more thing. So... she shows me her hand right. She asks me to look at her hand and being clueless I don't see anything. So she points out a lump on her right wrist. I go "isn't that normal?" and proceed to look at mine. No not normal. Apparently the doc tells her it's a ganglionic cyst (yes Heather I'm spelling this right.. remember Science Camp here, lol). It's stress from over use. She wonders how she got this and then it dawned on her. Canes, hats, fans, chairs, towels, bamboo sticks, tambos, balls, phones, beads, chains, fiddles, and umbrellas. Did I miss anything? Got Props? Yup. That's all I need to say. The Zaandam curse is still kicking some of us. Anyway. I miss you all and if you're in town, give me a ring.

All Rise..

So yesterday my number finally came up. I was on stand-by call in jury duty and all the way up until Thursday evening I thought I was going to get away for the next 6 years without going to the Queens County court houses. Nope. Thursday evening brought the annoying news of making an appearance for jury duty. I guess I should pay my civic duty and go or pay the state $250 for being in contempt if I didn't. Me being naive on the whole thing (since I managed to dodge it for the past 15 years due to address changes and travelling performance gigs) didn't know what to expect. I thought it'd be a selection of jurors and if you weren't selected, you go home (which is true), but if you were selected, you serve that day and go home later (which is not true). For one the selction process is a day long process and you may be put on a few panels throughout the day if not selected on your first panel. You're not dismissed after your first rejection which I thought would happen. Then, I find out that civil cases don't start until next week and can take up to a whole week!! Yikes!! That was surprising news. I thought that's what this whole week of telephone stand-by was for. They'd select jurors for THIS week, not next. I suddenly got nervous. I didn't want to serve anymore with funds being a little too close for comfort and I JUST got this temp assignment to tide me over until March when rehearsals start. So I wait and it's getting close to lunch. I figure if I don't get called by lunch for a panel then my chances are slim for late afternoon. Wrong. My name comes up now. So, I'm in a panel of 30. They only need 6 plus 2 alternates. We all file upstairs to be seated in front of 5 (yes 5) lawyers. One for the prosecution and 4 for the defendant. Four on the defense!?! Turns out it was a car accident involving the plaintiff getting injuries from riding a bus. SO, the bus had a lawyer, the driver of the bus had a lawyer, the other car involved was leased so the bank had a lawyer, and then there was a lawyer for the driver of that car. Four against one. Well they THOROUGHLY examined the first 6 chosen (which I wasn't a part of) asking loads and loads of quesions. They filled us in on names, a synopsis of what was being argued, and what we as jurors would have to decide throughout the course of the trial(s). Yes. Multiple trials. Just my luck on Friday the 13th of all days. It was an accident that took place in 2000 which just goes to show how slow our judicial process really is. Well, of the first group they only kept 2. The other 4 had trouble understanding (since English was a problem for them) or they had conflicts of interest with the parties involved. A lunch break and we were all back. I was chosen to be grilled in the next 6. I thought, "crap, this could be me in the juror seat next." I had a little against me though. I have lawyer friends, doctor friends, cop friends, AND my temp assignment was with a lawfirm. Needless to say I was still grilled and still answered honestly saying I'd be fair and impartial regardless of my affiliations AND I wouldn't discuss the case with any of my friends. What struck a nerve with me was a fact surrounding the case that swayed my favorability to the defense. Needless to say because of that favorability, I was canned. Whew! Turns out the whole row of 6 was pretty bad for a jury on this case. Two taxi drivers and a citizen who have been sued before for car accidents and felt they were wrongly accused. One of those who could barely speak English. Also girl who was being sued currently and her job was at the scene of the accident. One lady had affiliations with many doctors in NYC and a son in law who was a cop, but she determined she could be fair and impartial regardless and she was chosen. The rest of us were dismissed to sit downstairs again and wait for our dismissal papers. I was still nervous because some people had already come back for this process 2-3 times throughout the week. Could I have to come back again on Tuesday? Nope. I got my dismissal and I'm good for the next 6 years in Queens County! Yay! Civil Service served.

Belittled in Ballet..

The other day I took my first step to becoming a "smoother" and more "fluid" dancer by revisiting a root of dance. Ballet. Every teacher I've ever taken from says that most dance is rooted in ballet and modern dance. I don't like taking ballet because there's so much to think about when you're doing it. You have to have proper placement of the head and arms. Your feet have to be pointed. Legs turned out. Lift from the hips. All this in a few moves. So much to think about. I read the class descriptions and determined I had more vocabulary than the basic class and the next best time and class was an advanced beginning class. I should know by now that "advanced beginning" is not only an oxymoron, but Broadway Dance Center's term for intermediate, but "advanced beginning" makes it look less intimidating. So, I go in expecting to work my technique and learn a few new things. Learn, I tried. The routines were spouted off as if we were conversing to each other. Needless to say my ballet vocabulary was not that strong and neither was my coordination for that level. I attempted all the barre excercises, and fell drastically behind in some. Especially in frappes. It was the first time I actually walked out of a class after the warm up excercises. The instructor taught a little combination on the floor before I left. He verbalized most of it and taught the whole thing in one swoop. I tried it. Then I left before they started leaping, going across the floor, and dividing into groups. Next time it'll be the beginner class for me. I'll just keep stepping back until my technique grows stronger. Roots. Back to the roots. Oy!

Poking Fun

One should never blog late in the evening or from when I'm writing so early in the morning, but something just caught my eye. In this reflection and alone time I have there's a lot of time to catch up and do some things I didn't get to do before because of time constraints or accessibility. This includes catching up on old e-mails, writing journal entries, and reading through friends' blogs to catch up on their lives. Some blogs are so extensive and intelligent they belittle mine. I just say what I feel most of the time. I use it as a vehicle to keep those interested in what's happening on my end, and I make entries as experiences affect me. It may be fluff (as I've discovered reading through mine compared to others), but it is what it is and I like it. When I'm used as a negative example for relationships, that kind of strikes a chord and I feel I need to say something.

Yes, it takes me time to get to know people and yes I've dated often sometimes. In my definition of dating more than 2 encounters with someone with the agreed potential for more is dating. If you're dating long enough without seeing someone else, I consider that a relationship. If I find someone I like with genuine interest, I'm not going to go off and date someone else. That's just me, and call me old fashioned. Yes and after a week I may discover I don't have those feelings anymore for that person. That's what dating is for. It's to find out about each other. Some people might see me as having a "fast" approach to dating, but those are people who don't really know me. My long term relationships began with a friendship first. It wasn't until many weeks or months later did we decide to "date." My close friends are the only ones who even know I had interest so the "date" part was just a formal way of acknowledging it once it was out in the open. In one instance it was a whole year of friendship before, and it wasn't until the month before I discovered I liked him that way. It's the thrill of discovering you're interested in each other in a romantic way that makes it worth it for me. There's no wondering on the first date. By the time a date happens, you already know you're interested in each other. It's so much more rewarding I find than meeting a stranger on a date. You have to fit all that time of getting to know each other in a short time and then sometimes you end it not really knowing the person. I've tried to actually date strangers like most people do (they're all strangers even if they're friends of someone else, you may not know them) and it either ends up very shallow or just ends, and it usually ends quickly. I'm not claiming that every relationship I get into is marriage-like. Only one person so far can claim that. I just find it fulfilling that 2 people can be with each other, express love, and be happy. We may discover over time that things aren't right and decide to end it. It's part of life and discovery. If you never explore that happiness to see where it can take you or approach it with a skeptical eye, you'll be lonely for a good part of your life. Each one of my relationships I've learned from and wouldn't change a thing. I'm a romantic and sap when it comes down to it and cherish my family, close friends, and that special someone that brings me happiness. So to the skeptic who decided to poke fun at the way I've fallen in and out of love over the years, just remember you too fell hard and fast in love that same way many eons ago before I discovered my mutual attraction to you.

All By Myself...

Boy is it weird to type “2006.” It’s the 2nd day of the new year and as I babysit my friend’s apartment in Kew Gardens I’m feeling slightly alone. It turns out for most of my life I’ve been always surrounded by people or had someone to share my life with. Now in the deepest part of winter and approaching my 33rd birthday everyone’s busy. It’s always been that way around this time though. No contracts really begin at this time unless I was working at the Lawrence Welk Theatre on a show. Friends just got finished with the holidays and are busy catching up with their own lives away from families. Most likely I’m always in a different locale from where my family is. Yes I have friends around here, but it’s different. In this time of babysitting an apartment I actually go home by myself. I’ve never really done that before. I’ve always had room mates or people around me. I’d cherish that time alone by shutting my door, and if I wanted to socialize or be surrounded by people I’d just open the door. I should just embrace this alone time and really take it in because in a few weeks I won’t have this quiet serenity. I’ll be back in with Phil so I’ll have a room mate. Then I fly off to L.A. where I’ll have about 6 roomies for a while and on board I’ll have a roomie and all the cast in one hallway again. However I think just having people around is what makes me happy. I was so happy on board. Even though I was away from my close friends and family, I had this group of people I always ate dinner with, shared the stage with, drank and partied with, and played games with. I always heard the buzz in the hallway in the evening when we were thinking of what to do at night. I guess that just comes from the way I grew up. I was always doing something social even though you wouldn’t see me as the most social person up until a year or so ago. Up until I graduated high school I was in a singing group that got together 3 times a week so I was surrounded by friends and had a good time. I was on bowling leagues that met every Saturday morning. I met family every weekend to play games, watch TV, and hang out. I had friends in each neighborhood. Even in college I was constantly surrounded by activity. Once I was performing, I was always involved. Now life has slowed down. Something tells me I need this moment and that’s why I’m experiencing this alone time. I just have to embrace it. It’s only been less than a week really. If anything I’ll learn from it.

Welcome 2006!!!

Another year begins and we're one more year closer to a new decade. I can't believe how time flies these days. This winter so far has brought back memories of winters over 5 years ago. I had a performing gig coming up and there was that anticipation, relaxation, and happiness. I'm getting those same feelings of anticipation to start performing again which is just enough time to recuperate from the last gig. Also I'm getting anticipation to go to Europe and excited to see all those places and to work with some people I've worked with already. There's also PLENTY of relaxation. I worked a little bit but was let go because of the limitations I have on my availability. The company was looking for a more long term worker, but I was only looking for a temporary slot to help bring in some cash. Then the strike happened and my trip to Ohio. SO, I've had lots of time to just relax my mind. On the flip side, my body has relaxed quite a bit too, so I have to get into a gym soon. Especially after all that good holiday indulgence. Happiness comes from seeing all my friends and family again after a long time away and I'll still see more friends in California in March when I'm in L.A. and even in February when some come to NYC via a ship. Most everyone seems to be doing well so that also makes me happy. It's a good way to ring in 2006 and I hope these feelings of happiness keep constant throughout the year. 2005 was pretty good, but I'm sure 2006 will be much better.