All By Myself...

Boy is it weird to type “2006.” It’s the 2nd day of the new year and as I babysit my friend’s apartment in Kew Gardens I’m feeling slightly alone. It turns out for most of my life I’ve been always surrounded by people or had someone to share my life with. Now in the deepest part of winter and approaching my 33rd birthday everyone’s busy. It’s always been that way around this time though. No contracts really begin at this time unless I was working at the Lawrence Welk Theatre on a show. Friends just got finished with the holidays and are busy catching up with their own lives away from families. Most likely I’m always in a different locale from where my family is. Yes I have friends around here, but it’s different. In this time of babysitting an apartment I actually go home by myself. I’ve never really done that before. I’ve always had room mates or people around me. I’d cherish that time alone by shutting my door, and if I wanted to socialize or be surrounded by people I’d just open the door. I should just embrace this alone time and really take it in because in a few weeks I won’t have this quiet serenity. I’ll be back in with Phil so I’ll have a room mate. Then I fly off to L.A. where I’ll have about 6 roomies for a while and on board I’ll have a roomie and all the cast in one hallway again. However I think just having people around is what makes me happy. I was so happy on board. Even though I was away from my close friends and family, I had this group of people I always ate dinner with, shared the stage with, drank and partied with, and played games with. I always heard the buzz in the hallway in the evening when we were thinking of what to do at night. I guess that just comes from the way I grew up. I was always doing something social even though you wouldn’t see me as the most social person up until a year or so ago. Up until I graduated high school I was in a singing group that got together 3 times a week so I was surrounded by friends and had a good time. I was on bowling leagues that met every Saturday morning. I met family every weekend to play games, watch TV, and hang out. I had friends in each neighborhood. Even in college I was constantly surrounded by activity. Once I was performing, I was always involved. Now life has slowed down. Something tells me I need this moment and that’s why I’m experiencing this alone time. I just have to embrace it. It’s only been less than a week really. If anything I’ll learn from it.