Gumption & Guts...

After a week of relaxation (and by relaxation I mean eating breakfast when I wanted, in my pajamas, and not having a time limit throughout the day) a harsh bit of reality hit me. Yesterday I was prepping for New York. I've been communicating with people about apartments, getting my music together, and starting to practice. Pretty soon I'll have to print off some resumes and headshots. I've been excited about hitting the pavement, but that's easier said than done especially this late in the game. I have my auditions lined up and now I have music put together for the first ones. I hope the first ones go well, but after being out of the loop for so long, I really can't expect that. I'm not sure what to wear and barely deciding what to audition with. I have no monologues prepped so that kind of limits my choices a bit. I just have to remember perseverance. It's what has gotten me this far already. I took a hike in Juneau on the Perseverance Trail, which lead off onto the Mt. Juneau Trail. The Mt. Juneau Trail took more endurance than the trail leading up to it. It should've taken on the name Perseverance than it's lower trail. Once I got to the higher elevations the true sense of the word hit me. We kept hitting false peaks thinking it was the top. Time was running out and our legs were killing us. We wanted to get to the top though. We fought through every false peak and just as we were about to give up, the summit was in sight at last. We got up there and it was one of the most beautiful sights I've seen combined with an extraordinary sense of accomplishment. This is what I have to remember going to New York. There are going to be a lot of false peaks on my way to the top. I have to be tenacious in my efforts to go for the jobs I want.

This business is a tough one. Headshots, dance classes, voice lessons, representation, acquiring music, and staying fit can all add up in dollars. It's not a cheap industry. Then there are the supplementary jobs, constantly moving, times in poverty, and rejection upon rejection. This is what makes actually taking the stage and opening night such a rewarding and memorable experience no matter where you are. I took my mom and grandma to see "A Chorus Line" tonight in Cleveland. This not only can be the anthem of dancers, but of all of us in the performing arts business. It's hard enough getting the job, but once you get it, it only lasts for months at a time and maybe years to come. However getting the job is the ultimate goal and an invigorating venture for all those times it didn't happen. It really affected me tonight now leaving the safety net of the cruise ship world. Sea life has brought me back into the performing arts industry after leaving it for a year or more when I moved to New York. Ironic as that might seem seeing since New York is the hub of most live entertainment, but the timing was wrong. Debt, skepticism, and other factors kept me from letting loose and aiming high. When I came back into play at sea, it was rejuvenating. I became comfortable there especially since the entertainment company kept on offering and offering and still offering. Now I just saw a show where the talent was amazing and this is my competition. Not only was I seeing amazing performers, but also I was watching a show where the reality of what I'm about to step into was coming to life on stage. Yes a little outdated and hyped up for theatrical effect it was still very real. Some of the monologues just hit home. It takes a lot to let go and put your soul on the line and when you make it far enough to be let go, you have to regroup and do it all over again. You get the job and then when it's over you go after other shows. It's a process that never ends. The judging doesn't stop in the audition room either. It continues through rehearsal and then onto the stage. All that aside the big thrill is bringing someone so into the character you are portraying they forget about what's happening around them and they follow you (your character) on your journey. When you can tell a story so well that they are right there with you in the moment and that's usually when you're just spilling your guts on the line for everyone else to lap up. It was watching this performance that I was taken away into the characters and lost in their stories. After hearing some of the outdated lines (mostly relating to age), I started to get worried about how late I am at trying for these shows. There are tons of young performers coming to New York every day that have some amazing talents. In the show Paul gets hurt and has to go to the hospital. The question then comes up "what do you do when you can't dance anymore?" I hope to continue in this business as long as I can afford it. As long as I am determined. There are a few people in my life I can look up to who are along in their years and are still going strong. It just goes to show that this can be a fulfilling career if you don't let it get under your skin and as long as you persevere. Seeing "A Chorus Line" tonight though and listening to the stories as I did when I saw the movie was still a little nerve-wrecking. I'm determined to overcome all the negativity that surrounds this business and come out on top. My ultimate goal is Broadway yes, but if I can keep working while doing something I love, that is most rewarding.

Landed & On The Move....

I am now resting at home with my family in Ohio after a turbulent last few weeks on board the Westerdam. This last summer with Holland America Line has been the biggest disappointment yet with how a company manages their product. On the plus side I'm very thankful that they have offered me the opportunity to meet great people and see the world. I literally traveled the world. I must say that I should've gone with my instincts in March to not extend on the current contract into the summer months. However everything happens for a reason and I have learned so much from staying on board no matter how frustrating. The pinnacle of my frustration came from learning that the company spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to replace plastic decorations and umbrellas in the Lido pool area for a new pool party atmosphere. Up until the actual event I thought the night would have party music, events, and a BBQ buffet. It did have music. What happened to the other two expectations I have no idea. There was a buffet, but it was cupcakes and ice cream. Over $100,000 was spent in the entertainment arena for cupcakes and ice cream. We have costumes falling apart after being worn by several casts since 2004, sets deteriorating, a revolving stage that has been requested to be fixed since April, and out of 80-100 some odd lights on stage we have about 40 operating because of burnt out bulbs or defective lights. Yet the company sees fit to spend ridiculous amounts of money on plastic cartoon plants and umbrellas for a cupcake social that received poor attendance. They also spend this same amount of money on cartoon like instruments (that the band doesn't actually play) and plastic food for a silly show in the dining room that runs through all courses of the meal. Most of the feedback I've heard from this show has been a negative response. It goes to show just how much the company cares about the entertainment that actually gets seen on the big stage for a production show. I hear about sound boards crashing (as it has happened to us), set pieces falling and breaking, moving parts becoming inoperable, and equipment going faulty in the show lounges on other HAL ships. All these things affect the show in some way and it takes them half a year to fix them. Yet it's urgent to get some stupid event up and running that costs more to build than to fix the problems with the production shows or even in some cases problems happening mechanically around the ship. I realize that every company has mismanagement problems in some way. I just feel that this one has just jumped off the page with it in the last few years. Especially with the new Signature Class ships coming out. They are also refitting some of the smaller ships with Signature Class upgrades. This will cost millions of dollars. Meanwhile they are cutting back on the variety of entertainment by reducing the amount of guest acts on board and making the casts do more shows (which will inevitably be similar to shows already out there) and the lead singers performing a night of their own. Casts are going to be reduced from 10 to 7 or 6 in some cases. It will practically be like going to see the same show 7 times (for a 7 day cruise). I don't think I will be returning to this company nor can I recommend it to anyone. It just doesn't seem as appealing as it was when I first stepped on board. Doing library duty and teaching line dance class was better than doing some of the humiliating things the cast has to do now.

On a more positive note the adventures during the last part of the cruise were fabulous. In Acapulco a group of us headed off to a water park. I was excited because I had heard of this one slide where you end up in this big bowl type thing and plop out at the bottom into a pool. Essentially you get flushed. The day started off sketchy. It was a bit humid, overcast, and rainy. This was fine because it was warm and we were going to get wet anyway. We arrived at the park and it began to downpour. That lasted for about 20 minutes and we were in the water and on the slides. Oh well. At least we weren't getting sunburn. We took the plunge and did get flushed. It was great!! You slide down this one tube so fast and then whoosh, and you end up in this big bowl swirling around the edges. When you lose momentum you plop out the bottom and seeing people come out on their landing was the most hilarious art of the ride. We were all over the park just having a blast and all of a sudden the clouds parted and the sun made its debut about noonish. Fabulous!! The day just got better. About 20 minutes later the thrill rides began to open up including a swing bungee. Three of us got together, got harnessed up, and then we were lifted some 150 feet into the air. I didn't know what to expect and I wanted to bungee again that day anyway. My friend yanked the cord on the countdown and we were off. It was awesome!!! Free fall came first and then we caught the tension in the cord and began to swing. It was like flying out over the beach. It felt so good and had my endorphins going. We ended the day hanging out for a wonderful lunch at the Hard Rock Café. A few days later we landed in Puntarenas, Costa Rica. This is the place where the past few times I've ziplined. This visit was no exception. The day started out hot and sunny and then the clouds rolled in just before we caught our bus. This part of Costa Rica is a rainforest so I wasn't surprised, but I was hopeful it would clear up. We got to the site (a new one for me) and it just down poured. Again, it did this for about 20 or so minutes. So we did our first line in the rain. It was okay. It was a warm rain. On the next few lines, the sun dominated again. Awesome!! I love when that happens. The tour was just as good as the ones I've been to before. This was a double-lined zip wire. Safety first of course. Still there's something to be said about the single line zip at the other place. The lines at the place we went to that day seemed much longer though. It was great. Some of them we didn't have to worry about braking. We could just enjoy the ride. Even better. After a full day of careening through the trees we headed back pretty tired. For me the rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. I had seen all the other places and traded some of my days off for other days in previous cruises I wanted more. I was basically just getting ready to go and enjoying the people I was around while doing it. I still have the travel bug so now I do want my Broadway dream once I get to NYC, but I wanted to book a land tour next. Preferably in Europe. I do have to get back there someday.

Now it’s a few weeks here in Ohio and then off to NYC. My friends are wonderful and already looking out for me as far as living conditions. I may have something good for NYC living soon. I hope the jobs come just as easily.

The Fight Over Gay Marriage...

Unionization, civil bond, civil commitment, or whatever you call it, call it something. After watching the debates it appears that neither Obama nor McCain are in favor of gay marriage. Marriage being the key word here seeing that no one seems to want to change the definition of marriage from a union of a man and a woman to something else. Give the word to the religious fanatics who want to use this to define their bonds and a way to express their love to one another. Obama and Biden ARE in favor of civil fairness. Meaning that although religion seems to control what can be called marriage, the government can give the same benefits as defined in marriage to those loving couples who unite under different definitions. All we ask for are the same tax benefits, hospital visitation rights, adoption rights, property rights, and so forth that other couples can share as defined by the government under marriage. We can still be a family as recognized by the government. We need separation from church and state anyway as written by our forefathers. Religious differences in history have been the major cause of wars. Why fight over a word that religious officials do not want to relinquish to the political scene? Just give it a new name and let those who have their strong faith keep the word to define their unions. This will not only strengthen our nation as a tolerant nation as these candidates seem to be defending, but it will further separate our government from being mandated by religion.