Gumption & Guts...

After a week of relaxation (and by relaxation I mean eating breakfast when I wanted, in my pajamas, and not having a time limit throughout the day) a harsh bit of reality hit me. Yesterday I was prepping for New York. I've been communicating with people about apartments, getting my music together, and starting to practice. Pretty soon I'll have to print off some resumes and headshots. I've been excited about hitting the pavement, but that's easier said than done especially this late in the game. I have my auditions lined up and now I have music put together for the first ones. I hope the first ones go well, but after being out of the loop for so long, I really can't expect that. I'm not sure what to wear and barely deciding what to audition with. I have no monologues prepped so that kind of limits my choices a bit. I just have to remember perseverance. It's what has gotten me this far already. I took a hike in Juneau on the Perseverance Trail, which lead off onto the Mt. Juneau Trail. The Mt. Juneau Trail took more endurance than the trail leading up to it. It should've taken on the name Perseverance than it's lower trail. Once I got to the higher elevations the true sense of the word hit me. We kept hitting false peaks thinking it was the top. Time was running out and our legs were killing us. We wanted to get to the top though. We fought through every false peak and just as we were about to give up, the summit was in sight at last. We got up there and it was one of the most beautiful sights I've seen combined with an extraordinary sense of accomplishment. This is what I have to remember going to New York. There are going to be a lot of false peaks on my way to the top. I have to be tenacious in my efforts to go for the jobs I want.

This business is a tough one. Headshots, dance classes, voice lessons, representation, acquiring music, and staying fit can all add up in dollars. It's not a cheap industry. Then there are the supplementary jobs, constantly moving, times in poverty, and rejection upon rejection. This is what makes actually taking the stage and opening night such a rewarding and memorable experience no matter where you are. I took my mom and grandma to see "A Chorus Line" tonight in Cleveland. This not only can be the anthem of dancers, but of all of us in the performing arts business. It's hard enough getting the job, but once you get it, it only lasts for months at a time and maybe years to come. However getting the job is the ultimate goal and an invigorating venture for all those times it didn't happen. It really affected me tonight now leaving the safety net of the cruise ship world. Sea life has brought me back into the performing arts industry after leaving it for a year or more when I moved to New York. Ironic as that might seem seeing since New York is the hub of most live entertainment, but the timing was wrong. Debt, skepticism, and other factors kept me from letting loose and aiming high. When I came back into play at sea, it was rejuvenating. I became comfortable there especially since the entertainment company kept on offering and offering and still offering. Now I just saw a show where the talent was amazing and this is my competition. Not only was I seeing amazing performers, but also I was watching a show where the reality of what I'm about to step into was coming to life on stage. Yes a little outdated and hyped up for theatrical effect it was still very real. Some of the monologues just hit home. It takes a lot to let go and put your soul on the line and when you make it far enough to be let go, you have to regroup and do it all over again. You get the job and then when it's over you go after other shows. It's a process that never ends. The judging doesn't stop in the audition room either. It continues through rehearsal and then onto the stage. All that aside the big thrill is bringing someone so into the character you are portraying they forget about what's happening around them and they follow you (your character) on your journey. When you can tell a story so well that they are right there with you in the moment and that's usually when you're just spilling your guts on the line for everyone else to lap up. It was watching this performance that I was taken away into the characters and lost in their stories. After hearing some of the outdated lines (mostly relating to age), I started to get worried about how late I am at trying for these shows. There are tons of young performers coming to New York every day that have some amazing talents. In the show Paul gets hurt and has to go to the hospital. The question then comes up "what do you do when you can't dance anymore?" I hope to continue in this business as long as I can afford it. As long as I am determined. There are a few people in my life I can look up to who are along in their years and are still going strong. It just goes to show that this can be a fulfilling career if you don't let it get under your skin and as long as you persevere. Seeing "A Chorus Line" tonight though and listening to the stories as I did when I saw the movie was still a little nerve-wrecking. I'm determined to overcome all the negativity that surrounds this business and come out on top. My ultimate goal is Broadway yes, but if I can keep working while doing something I love, that is most rewarding.