Christmas Past and Present...

It was great to be home for the holidays. I flew home from California to go to Ohio for Christmas. I routed through Chicago O'Hare, which was the longest layover I had yet. It was already a 4-hour layover and then there was a 2-hour delay on top of it. The chances you take on winter AND holiday travel. There was a blizzard in Denver that delayed flights across the board. It messed up other flights and there were delays everywhere. I finally got home, but late. Now the forecasters are predicting snow for my next flying day. I better not get delayed again because of weather. I thought I was going to get away with a snowless winter and it appears Mother Nature got the best of me again. I still had a good visit home. I got to see family on both days and that was good. On my way home from my visit with my dad's side of the family today I had a bout of Peter Pan syndrome. There are just moments in life where you wish you could just freeze time and stop or go back to a moment in time and relive it. This holiday I wished I could go back to the days of my preteens. Days were simpler then. A lot has changed now. People get older, I'm getting older, moods have changed, and the way things used to be have changed. Back then I enjoyed the anticipation of the big unveiling after dinner on Christmas Eve. We had a bunch of people there. A lot of family. My brother and I were always snooping to see what was under the aluminum Christmas tree in my grandma and grandpa's basement. There was a long dinner table, but inevitably the three of us kids would be at a fold out card table in the corner somewhere while the adults sat and chattered over wine. Wine was a fascination because we couldn't have it. Neighbors came over and celebrated with us. There was always snow on the ground and we'd always hope it would last over into some horrible mess that would keep the schools closed after the holiday vacation was over. Santa Claus was a bygone by now for me, but it was still exciting because my cousin and my brother still believed. So we had to get to bed at a certain time so "Santa" could come. After the big unveiling, we would always be playing with something we got while our parents were folding up clothes, putting boxes in bags, and doling out the leftovers and Christmas goodies. It'd be near midnight before we all left and even though the drive from North Olmsted to Cleveland was a mere 15 minutes, it seemed like an hour. I was undoubtedly asleep every time before we got home and my brother was anxious to stay up to see Santa. We put cookies and milk out that mysteriously disappeared every morning. I'm sure my parents had a good giggle of that thought during their midnight madness to get everything Santafied over a few cocktails. The next morning my brother and I would inevitably wake one another up and scramble to the living room to find the mysterious packages appear. It was probably 7am and my mom and dad were NOT ready to get up, but did so anyway. After a good morning breakfast that we were both too excited to eat because of our new toys we scrambled to get ready to go over our other grandparents house for a bit of Christmas madness. Now I look back on those days and laugh at my annoyance with some of the craziness only because I wish that madness would happen again. My grandparents had a MASSIVE buffet of food, there were so many relatives over we barely fit, and the whole place was encased in smoke because almost everyone over there smoked. My aunt and uncle were vibrant with energy, grandpa was always cracking some sort of joke, my other aunt was over and she always brought her homemade bread. My cousins and their families were over. My uncle was over and brought one of his girlfriends and a friend or two. Dinner was around 1pm and the Christmas celebration went into the wee hours where the adults would play cards while my aunt, mom, grandma, and my brother and sometimes my uncle would be involved with another game or several games. We'd always fall asleep in the living room watching grandma and grandpa's cable TV. Cable TV was new then and not so common. When the Christmas madness was over we'd have 2 weeks of no school where we'd go to the Toboggan runs, sled riding, or playing in the snow. My aunt and uncle and even we lived in Cleveland around 117th Streets and that was a good area. We weren't the richest family, but we had a wonderful time. A time I wish now seeing all the changes I could take a step back into. A stress free time really. It seemed that everyone was healthy and doing okay for what they had.

Over the years you begin to accept there are going to be changes. People not in your life anymore. People who moved on to different lives. People who have new people in their lives. The old and familiar places are gone and you get used to new places. The old good neighborhoods become bad and destructive ones. The only constant in life being that every year on those same two days, I would do the same things. Those events changed so much over time, but every year I TRY to spend Christmas Eve at my mom's and Christmas Day with the Redding family. In fact, Christmas Day still takes place in the same house. I can't expect these events to last my lifetime and that reality and life change started to hit me today after my Christmas Day adventure. Christmas Eve is almost the same. Almost just as festive, almost just as exciting, and almost just as much food. There's more anticipation for me to come home and see the family and the decorations than there is to open gifts now. Gifts are just a tradition that will probably never disappear with the Christmas Eve family and lately I've been able to bring some worldly and exotic gifts to the mix with my travels. The Christmas Day has changed quite a bit. I've had my Christmases in hospitals, Christmases in different states, and Christmases with a different family altogether. This year I had Christmas Day in the same house, but so much has changed it does hurt. The energy is missing that used to be there, what used to be an overcrowded and endless night now is scarce and ends at 6pm because people are genuinely tired and must go to bed. No one smokes and if they do, they go outside. There are new family members that bring new energy to the day, but couldn't overcome the feelings I had today. My grandma hasn't changed much and that's the surprise. She's as vibrant as she ever was. Still making wisecracks and still fussing about. Now she cares for her daughter though. My aunt isn't doing so well. The aunt that would try and convince me to ride a rollercoaster when I was younger, but said it was okay when I cried and didn't ride now can't even function without assistance. Alzheimer's has gripped her pretty bad. She still remembers everyone I think, but it takes so much of her focus just to have a conversation when she used to be filled with endless chatter, jokes, and an energy I miss. All I want to do is play a simple board game with her, but those days are gone now. My uncle is battling cancer. His energy is back from when I saw him in November, but he tires easy now and is still pretty much running the house. What life has dealt my aunt and uncle isn't fair. All these two people did was send nothing but positive energy in my life. Now I can only be thankful they're still IN my life and take that as a gift for now. Yes, the people I celebrate the holidays with are still with me, but there are always changes. The greatest gift that can be given to me every year I come home for the holidays is that those same people are here in spirit. The memories I have from so many years ago when things seemed tough are now the most precious gift I have. I hope I never lose my memories and the memories that continue to enter my life.

Last time I was home my mom had some memories put to DVD. Ahh, the digital age. I looked back on those simpler times and was happy to see all the people that made such a mark on my life today. All those wonderful memories. Pictures are a wonderful thing. They're life a window to the past. Video even more so because at the time you’re watching them, those people are alive again. In spirit they're always alive. I guess what I'm trying to say is there are moments when it's exciting to look forward to what life has to bring you and then there are moments when Peter Pan comes to say hello. When Peter Pan wants to take you back to Never Never Land so you can relive those fantastic memories you took for granted when you were a kid, but now wish you had them to share all over again. I can say that I approach the changes in the next decade with tentativeness. I don't know if I'm ready to face them yet and wish I could coil up in my parent's bed on a stormy night, go to school when I didn't want to, wait for Santa or the Easter Bunny on a sleepless night, or take in a rollercoaster with the whole family.

First of Many Adventures...

Well I haven't written about my fabulous cast yet. I've been in rehearsals now for about 5 weeks. Yikes!! We've learned 4 shows already and will soon be on our fifth. These are a fabulous bunch of people and I finally have a group photo of them we took in the hotel room we got for the day in Las Vegas. It seems now that every time a new cast comes through to go out on a ship, they send them to see their pride and joy Barry Manilow in Las Vegas while they're here rehearsing. The company gives each cast a day room, buffet dinner, transportation, and choice seating to the concert. It's a great bonding event other than the bus ride. Ugh! 4 hours on a bumpy bus through the mountains of Nevada and California. I'm sure more mountains are in California than are in Nevada during the trip. I tried to sleep for most of that displeasure. Our cast though has been bonding for the past 5 weeks. We are 7 strong and all living under 1 roof. Yes. We all live in a 2-bedroom apartment. We've had PLENTY of time to bond since we live and work together 24-7. It's like the Real World series on MTV. I'm so thankful that the cast is very forgiving, nice, and fun. We all get along for the most part and have good times with each other. It looks like it will be a fulfilling contract. For the first part of the rehearsals (when there were only 6 of us here) we were cramming into one of our girls' Mini-Cooper. Yes, we seem to be packing into everything. That's our motto. We are the clown car cast. Small cast, small ship, and small living environment. So yesterday we shared a bus with 2 other casts in town and boarded our bus to Vegas at 10am. After the long and arduous drive to town, we took our time preparing for the concert and enjoyed our free buffet dinner with complimentary beer and wine. It was delicious. We strolled over to Barry's theatre where we got choice $250 seats pretty much on stage with little tables. Complimentary champagne was served and we were toasted and ready for Barry's serenading. Many a mom from our cast members expressed their jealousy for that evening. Barry came out with a bang and did his concert, which seemed to have changed slightly since I last saw it. There was also a little Christmas mixed into the concert as well. He was reachable distance a couple times since he serenades the side stages right in their faces and brings a lady up to dance (from our side of the stage, but not anyone in our row or cast). We were in the second row. We all had a blast. Even our bosses made an appearance that night flying in for a surprise visit from L.A. They manage all of Barry's materials including the concert. After the concert we paraded through Vegas and made a stop at New York New York in the Coyote Ugly bar where our girls enjoyed dancing on the bar with the Coyote Ugly waitresses. We had a blast there and headed over to the Irish Pub downstairs for more good times. Our departure was at 1:00am for the long haul back to L.A. and now thankfully I have the day off. This being the first adventure of many more to come, it looks like we'll all have a blast together.

Puritan Americans...

Okay now I'm really disturbed and sick so I'm going to rant. Yesterday as I took my morning walk to work I noticed trash everywhere. Just strewn all over the place in the bends of the curbs, on tree lawns, and even plastic bags hanging from trees. I got angry because we as human beings have such disregard for our land. A lot of other ideas popped into my head about people from the United States because I believe that as a country in the forefront of the global economy we should have respect for our land. We have the resources so why are we acting like a third world country that doesn't have such resources? Today a message popped up on my AOL that told me a mother is trying to ban Harry Potter books from schools because they promote witchcraft. WHAT?!?!?! Okay this truly sent me over the edge and I have to rant about it.

First off we had a discussion some time ago here in L.A. on how we don't really have an identity for this country. Yes, we're Americans, but so are Canadians, Mexicans, anyone from Central America or South America. The collective of the two continents are American just like the collective of countries in Europe are European. It's arrogant to classify ourselves as Americans with the notion that it just means the United States. Petty I know, but lately the people that pop up with issues in this country have been pissing me off. For instance the witch lady. If you don't want your son or daughter to read the Harry Potter books because of your beliefs then restrict their literacy, creativity, and social interaction and not allow them to read the books. The mother has a right to excuse her siblings from a homework assignment if it's given if she so pleases. This IS the United States and that is her right. However when she's trying to put the same limitations on other children and impose HER beliefs on other people, that's where I have a problem with this country. I came up with a term for us the other day. I figure we're Quakers. Yes that is an accurate description. Really it's been a VERY slow process to change from that state of thinking to the more intelligent views the world economies express today. In most of the country religion is still governing our lives. Religion is a nice way for a group of people who share common interests and beliefs to gather and pray in the same manner. However it gets a little archaic when that group of people starts to "recruit" or impose their beliefs on others in a way that restricts other people's lives. They give excuses in the name of God. God says you can't do this or that. Fine if YOU believe that God says you can't do this or that then that's what YOU believe and not necessarily what I believe. We should all agree to disagree, but we can't. We have to fight until someone says, "you're right. I see the light, praise God." What ever happened to "love thy neighbor?" Those same God fearing and egotistical people are the ones who sneer at anyone who is not in their racial group. These same close-minded people are the same people who elected our defunct president because they were afraid of the terrorists. Now our economy, environment, and social stature in the world suffer because we have an incapable man in the power seat. Why won't we vote in a woman or someone other than a WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) even though MANY other countries have women and minorities in power? Because we're Quakers. We hunt witches, have battles over religion, and live in fear.

Secondly I got into thinking about why we have to be so disrespectful to our land. That's really what sparked this rant. As I looked down at all the trash strewn about the ground I saw the packaging of Hostess, Snickers, Lays, Snyders, Beer Bottles of various brands, and Pepsi/Coke cans as well as the local grocery and convenience store plastic bags. It made me chuckle at first because I didn't see apple cores, carrot tops, banana peels, or a fatty bone here and there. You know, natural things that are healthy. I saw the capitalistic brand names of chemically induced junk. We eat junk and dispose of it right on our own land. There was a bin just up the block and one more bin another block down. Are we THAT impatient that we can't hold on to trash for another block? I thought about that as I was holding my apple core. I was finished and ready to toss, but I held on to it until I found a bin as sticky and inconvenient as it was to hold. Some of the waste looked like it was tossed from a passing car and I wouldn't put it past us Quakers to do something like that. The freeways are just as messy and not too many people walk on the sides of freeways. It's all about capitalism in this country. As I looked down at the items all over the ground I also began to think this was the reason why this country is so obese as a whole. A man came on one of the morning talk shows one day weighing in at 850lbs. 850lbs!!!!! How does that happen? It's because we're impatient and want the pre-prepared meals and chemically induced things that are ready to eat. Our society is so fast. Everyone has to work to survive. Money is SOOO important. Yet, we're spending money on useless things. Health insurance is useless. Yet, if we don't have it then our doctor bills reach into the thousands of dollars? Scam. If we just PAY the taxes to incorporate a national health plan, then exorbitant price hikes and limited coverage on health insurance would cease. But we're Quakers. No one wants to forgo the tax money because it's a TAX, but we'd rather pay more in health insurance per year because we're paying for INSURANCE. Useless. I could go one and on, but I digress.

It'll take a lot for this country to change. Minorities are still being discriminated against just on skin color alone. Women are still being suppressed. Capitalism rules the nation and major companies will prevent things that will help our country (national health plan, cleaner fuels, and social acceptance of differences). We stole the land from the "natives" and have abused its resources. We're just as bad as the Quakers from centuries ago. No wonder why the Middle Eastern countries shun our government.

(In a footnote to this publication see the comments below. My good friend caught my error and my lack of recall on history. Just change all instances of Quakers to Puritans. Hey, we all make mistakes)