Change...

The year is winding down. Another year gone. Another new beginning. Hopefully 2009 will bring change in so many ways in my life as well as the lives of everyone across the globe. We have new leadership in America. Companies are now more focused on green energy. A new air powered car looks to be coming out in 2009-2010 that could change the oil economy in a heartbeat. It's a sleek design, small, and AFFORDABLE coming in only around $18k. Check it out:

AIR-POWERED CAR

The company claims the car gets 75hp, up to 96mph (way more speed than we need to be driving), and 100 MPG!! ONE HUNDRED!!! You won't have to worry about filling up the car until after 800-1,000 miles of drive time! The 8-gallon tank runs on regular ethanol based fuels or even biofuels for the upcoming changes. I hope in 2009 we come up with more energy efficient ideas like this one. I already saw a local company at home running their electricity off solar panels. We are growing to get away from the pollution that is devastating this precious planet.

Speaking of being home, now that the holidays are over and the travel has ceased for the time being, I'm kind of feeling the slump that usually accompanies leaving a cast after a contract. I got a little choked up the other day as I packed the car with all my things and new things for the apartment. I realized that I was leaving the comforts of home and now really embarking on an adventure that I should have had eons ago, but now accomplishing at 35. Once I left the cruise ships in 2000, I left on a great new adventure to the west coast, but with someone who was very familiar to me already. I soon became very adapted and later we moved to NYC. I was still sheltered because I was with someone who had all the comforts of home and we just moved it. Now as I come to NYC, I come alone. I have friends here yes, but I go to my own apartment where I have to provide things I once had, but no longer have because I'm on my own. When I come home, I come home to a roommate, but often I come home to an empty apartment. I thought this would be nice, but I crave the company of someone just being there sometimes. At the moment, I haven't a job since I'm auditioning to get one and taking classes to refine my craft. It can be a little unnerving when I'm used to working all the time. So when I was about to pull out of the drive last Sunday with all my wares in tow, I realized that my unsheltered life was about to begin. The holidays were a wave of memories with meeting old friends over Thanksgiving for a get together and going through all my stored things at home (pictures, old dishes, etc). I remembered the simpler times when all I had to worry about was getting to a Singing Angel concert, studying, or even in college just getting involved. Now that I live on my own without assistance, my retirement plan in the works, and budgeting for future endeavors, I make that transition from the simple life to real adulthood. I'm thankful I don't have children to think about at the moment, so it kind of still "feels" like college. My friends though are getting married and having kids all around me. It's kind of freaky. Especially when I look at the old photos and see and remember those times rather than the current ones. I call New York my home now, but I'm starting to yearn for the non-vagabond life. I give myself another 5 years in this business. If things don't turn out like I hope, then I will refocus on a more family lifestyle.

Determination & Defiance...

I am DETERMINED to make life in New York City for a while. These past few days have been extremely hard and my heart was just screaming to go back to Ohio or somewhere quiet and live a peaceful and non-exiting lifestyle (well what would be non-exiting to me is still pretty eventful for others). So yesterday the weather rose to the 60s only to combat it with intermittent rain showers. This was okay since it was just sprinkles, but I was amidst all the holiday shoppers and dealing with subways so it was not fun. My schedule has been packed with dance classes, voice lessons, yoga classes, and auditions. On top of that I've been doing holiday events and just TRYING to get organized in my new abode. I'm still half in half out. My stuff is still at the storage unit and I'm realizing that the stuff I left there I should have figured out how to bring. I could not even imagine having a job right now, which worries me for the upcoming year. I come home and crash only to get up and start all over again. Today I bailed on my Yoga class since the weather has been causing a muscle to ache that may have been tweaked during my long drive in after Thanksgiving. The day didn't start well since I found ants carrying on in my room today. They were in a small area of my floor by the desk and I was flustered trying to get them all. I didn't want to come home to a line or a colony as I once remember happening in San Diego during a big rainstorm. Needless to say, I think the RAID did the job. No colonies or ant lines when I came home. I was worried I'd have to take everything out of my room and just clean house. I will do this when I get organized, but was not looking forward to doing it at the moment. So with the small pain and the worry of ants, I decided to not attend Yoga. So I feel a little defeated.

I am beginning to realize that my previous lack of training is beginning to catch up with me. At 35 I refuse to admit that I am less flexible, can endure less, and can't just live off minimal sleep and nourishment (don't worry mom, I AM eating well just at odd times). Who needs to eat anyway when you're schedule goes from 8:00am to 11:00pm and packed with travel, classes, and auditions? Back to flexibility and endurance. I have been taking Bikram Hathra Yoga, which is where the room gets heated to 100 degrees and you do a series of Hathra strengthening poses in the room. It's been great and my flexibility has gotten better. Or so I thought. I was in Pilate's class the other day and I noticed my core sucks. I couldn't hold a damn thing. I was cramping and my muscles just didn't want to stretch. I was shaking all over since my abs were like "what are you doing? We haven't been worked in ages." Then I was in ballet and jazz classes realizing that my turn out and flexibility there (a different flexibility needed) were just not great. I can execute moves, but my technique suffers from stiff muscles. My upcoming New Year's resolution is to resolve that by stretching as much as possible and trying to relieve all this tension. Quite the task while living in New York City. The cruise life seems to beckon me more now. It was an easy and carefree lifestyle. The bathroom was always clean, the room was always clean, I could eat without preparation or paying (most of the time without paying), and I had LOTS of free time. Yet that was an extreme for a while too. The other extreme. What I crave I guess is somewhere in between. This becomes a catch 22 when trying to be a performer. You have to be in New York or L.A. to do this career. New York is definitely the bear of the two. I am determined to overcome the extreme negativity here. I guess at the moment with the fall of the economy, high tourist season here, and the holidays things are a little emotionally heightened. Hopefully things will resolve more once I get back to the city after Christmas. By then I will be out of storage completely, be done with holiday madness here in the city, and have some down time as I've heard January is a little slow in the entertainment industry. I guess the city becomes a little less bustling in January since people go away. I will see. In the meantime I have to call upon the Gods of mental endurance.

Holy S#%T!!

Whoa does time fly in New York City. Especially when you're in between two places at once. As of today I will be in one place though and that is at my new place in Harlem. It's not what you've heard. It's actually an up and coming area and the deal I got was amazing. I just put up my Christmas tree today so I feel a little accomplished and settled. Now the holidays begin for me. I still need a bit for my apartment though so I can effectively store things away. Right now everything is kind of scattered about the room. It's a little unnerving to look at. I can't believe I have so much stuff and there is more to pull out in storage.

Auditions are beginning to quiet down for the time being. I went to 3 whoppers though. I decided to try going to some of the dance calls. It was at these calls I started gaining confidence again. Each call got harder as I went along, but I kept up with the sequence. I may have looked funny during some of it or couldn't execute a move, but I didn't stray from sequence and I performed the piece to my best ability. I felt I did well in most cases. The first was for Mamma Mia. It was a 10:00am call for the guys and even the choreographer noted that usually the guys are in the afternoon. My brain was not quite yet awake. She started right away with some pop-lock hip-hop style choreo. Whoa. I was thinking to myself that I was not ready for this and hip-hop is the hardest sequence for me to memorize. There are so many specifics with arms and accents that sometimes just trip me up AND it's funky. While learning it, I was kind of lost. I pulled it together though by the time we started breaking up the groups. I got the swing of it when I was called to the floor for the actual audition. I performed it and was sweating like mad. No one was called to sing that day since they were only seeing dancing. I felt I did very well and some of the guys couldn't get it down very well, so I felt uplifted. I felt that if it came down to a technical audition (ballet or jazz), these guys may dance circles around me, but I killed the sequence and I performed the moves no matter how funky. I just wonder how I looked doing them. The next one was for a new musical called First Wives Club. I truly had no idea what to expect since I couldn't see clips of the show on You Tube or anywhere else. I went and there were more guys there I just knew as dancers. Okay. I did fine at the Mamma Mia audition, I kept my chin up and went in with the first group. The choreography started off bluesy and sexy. It was very lyrical and flowed well. I could perform this. Then it got very technical with turns and jumps. So far nothing I couldn't accomplish. There was one jump that I had never executed so it was difficult for me to just find in my body and that one I didn't execute very well. I remembered the whole sequence though, had a blast, sweat hard, and didn't mess up the sequence. All I did was fall out of one turn that came after the jump that was new to me. So it was a technical audition and harder than the previous one. I still felt I did well. They called people back to sing, but I had already sung on a previous day. I'm sure they remembered that, or at least I hope they did. So the other day I auditioned for yet another new show, Spiderman the Musical. You read correctly. The show will feature aerial acts and heavy acrobatic choreography. I knew this going in. What I didn’t know was that I'd be dancing for Daniel Ezralow who choreographed the sequences in Across the Universe. This audition topped them all. I thought the last one was hard. Well this one was just flat out ridiculous. We started out in groups of 10 just on the floor doing 30 pushups to a slow count. Some were showing strength by clapping in their pushups or lifting a leg. I was just happy enough to get through the 30 'cause I almost didn't. I held my form though. I knew they were coming since the girls walking out from the morning audition said that was how their audition started and they did 20. Okay, so pushups were over, what next? The basic tumbling portion. We did across the floor in groups of 4 with a forward roll, back roll, jump from back on floor to feet, handstand and come down to stomach slowly, and then slides on the hips to the other side of the room. Okay, the rolls I could accomplish, but it was the jump from my back to my feet that I had trouble with and the slides I just didn't get. It was very "Spidey-like." The combo came next. It was a style of dance called crumping. It's a mixture of modern, hip-hop, and street jazz from what I experienced. It was VERY thrashy. Once again, I got through the sequence and the only thing I couldn't really do were the slides once again and this roll to the floor. It was very fast, fun, and just thrashy. The background behind it was that we were the bullies taunting Peter Parker, so a lot of the movement had fighting moves in it. I sweat like mad from that one and was just exhausted. Still I came out feeling good. If anything I just learned a new style of dance and met a big time choreographer. I googled some of his work later and realized that his style requires A LOT of strength and endurance. Hence the pushups at the start. I'm very interested to see this show now.

I've been training like mad since I've been here. I'm starting at the beginning so I can focus more on the stretching parts and the technique. Sometimes the sequences are boring and not challenging, but I can really focus on the technique in them. Sometimes a new dance move comes into my brain and I have to process it even at the beginner level. My tap class was like that tonight. Just when I was thinking last week I should step up a level and see what I could do, I was re-assured tonight that I should stay at my current level for now since there are still rhythms and patterns that challenge me. My voice lessons are getting better. My teacher is really opening up my voice to become a stronger instrument. The feeling is so weird though since I learned to sing in a children's choir that at the time didn't focus on singing healthy, just singing out. I never thought to get lessons since I was doing well with them and felt I didn't need them. Now while I'm trying to untrain my bad habits do I realize why I should've gotten an outside lesson in when I was young. I also blame the peer pressure of adolescence for quitting dance when I did. I lost SOO much flexibility, vocabulary of dance, and ease of sequence by leaving when I did. Oh well. We all make mistakes. All I can say is that I'm 35 and still dancing like a 20 y/o though as far as endurance. I'm determined to keep up.

Crazy Life & Annoying Drivers...

Wow. I haven't written in a while. Time on land seems to go by much quicker and there's so much more to do. Ever since I arrived in the city back at the top of November, I've just been on the go looking for apartments, auditioning, looking online for jobs, and just meeting with friends. I really haven't had a clear mind to sit down and write. I still don't (especially after yesterday), but I figured I'd let some thoughts out so my mind had room to breath.

First I have to get off my mind my crazy driving experience on Sunday. In the event of rising airline prices and restrictive baggage requirements I decided to rent a car and drive back to New York City from Cleveland. All week long my mom and grandma were watching the news and weather and agonizing over the dreadful day when I got the car. They have a right to be worried since I no longer handle long drives well. The car seems to lull me to a state of blissful sleep. Not good while driving. Also the impending weather conditions and holiday traffic were not sitting well with them. So all week long I got the updates. It wasn't looking good. I managed to get a decent car with okay gas mileage. The perks were amazing though. It had a G.P.S. inside as well as Sirius Radio. Sirius meant one radio station (or channel swapping between stable channels) all the way through. No static!! Also a G.P.S. meant that I wasn't going to be referring to my printed Mapquest paper especially upon arrival into the madness that is the New York City thruways. I was told where to go all the way and if there were gas stations nearby in case I got into a jam. I packed the car with what I could. Mapquest and the G.P.S. lady told me that it would take approximately 8 hours to complete the trip in good conditions. I was off and it was rainy. The temps most of the way were above freezing so I was fortunate to stay clear of icy conditions. The drive started well with okay conditions and light traffic. I was making good time and I was busy trying to figure out the car so I was active and not feeling drowsy at all. I hummed along to the top 40 hits I never heard before and even dabbled into the Broadway station for a bit. I love Sirius. So then the toll came when I left interstate 80 in Ohio and that's where the dilemmas began. A long line cued for the toll. Oy!! I got through that with minimal delay. Now I began my quest on the most tedious art of the journey. The drive through PA. Straight shot all the way on I-80. Yikes! It started off okay and then it went down to two lanes. It was then I discovered that American drivers have no respect for the road. I was perfectly fine with my cruise control in the right hand lane cruising just above the speed limit. Occasionally I'd stumble onto a trucker and have to edge around them. They travel at slower speeds. HOWEVER there were the truckers that would just speed down the expressway in the left lane. Sometimes they couldn't go as fast as the cars so they held up traffic a bit. Truckers should STAY in the right lane and only go left if they are passing, and not cruise in the left lane. Really NO ONE should cruise in the left lane on a 2-lane road since it should only be used for passing or allowing oncoming traffic onto the expressway. There aren't many exits/entrances so staying right is fairly easy. However you got the speed demons that just zoom along in the left lane inching up on the tails of those just trying to pass someone. Like an accordion they zoom up at top speed and brake when approaching a slower car trying to pass. The brake lights cause other cars to brake and this leads to congestion. These are the same drivers in packed traffic that will weave in and out of lanes not leaving any safe distances just to get ahead by seconds. Even in stopped traffic they try to inch over to the left lane. Frustrating? YES!! Besides the impatient driver there are the slow left land cruisers. Ones who should NEVER be cruising in the left lane since the right lane is going much faster. Come on!! Respect people! Get over!! They cause problems especially with the impatient driver weaving in and out and the truckers cruising along in the left. The weather kept getting ugly then better in a cycle like the traffic was a cycle of open road to stopped traffic. My mind was active trying to find a pace and figuring out the traffic puzzle so I wouldn't be caught behind a truck, slow cruiser, or be faced by the weaver. My hands were gripping the wheel at times of intense rain. Intense rain and truckers all the way don't mix well. Together they cause a spray on your windshield that's just overbearing. On the flip side all these aggravating things were good for my travel drowsiness. I couldn't imagine wanting to close my eyes and my brain was active all the way keeping me very alert and constantly thinking. By the time I arrived at the George Washington Bridge coming out of New Jersey I was relieved to be out of the mess and finally heading home. I had my trusty G.P.S. lady telling me exactly where to turn and merge. She lost me once, but got right back on. I made it into Forest Hills 3 hours behind schedule. Yikes! Parking was a disaster so I ended up finding a temporary spot, unloading, and then taking the car back that night. I just wanted it off my hands. I did enjoy the Sirius Radio though. I hope I have one on my next drive for Christmas. Yes, I am insane enough to do it again.

Besides the craziness of driving I had the craziness of New York and the holiday before. I had an intense 3 weeks in New York auditioning like mad, getting extremely nervous, and taking voice lessons and classes. I was diving in all the while looking for a new place to stay, a job to sustain income, and keeping up with friends. New York was a frenzy. I did find a place, which I will be moving into this week amongst the lot of auditions planned. I managed to get paid work while here in that time. My commercial can be viewed below. Do enjoy and if you're in the Long Island area you can see it locally. Take a visit to the spa. They ARE good. I will be using my earned gift certificate real soon.



I also was busy over the holiday. My mom had me baking up a storm getting ready for the Christmas holidays. I was also working on a New York project while at home and trying to catch up on some old friends I hadn't seen in over 15 years. I went to a gathering at home of people I knew over 15 years ago. Wow!! There are families now and the kids I once knew as kids are now grown adults (although some still act like they did when they were kids). It was fun revisiting that time again. Also that weekend I was dealing with Christmas madness at home as my mom & grandma wanted to get all the decorations out while I was home to help. Christmas went up in practically a day. The house was transformed from Thanksgiving to Christmas just like that. I was sure I'd be sitting down to Christmas Eve dinner by Sunday, lol. On Saturday we all celebrated my grandma's 80th and I saw relatives I hadn't seen in over 15 years. What's with the past revisiting this holiday season? My mind was overloaded. When I finally got back to the city after the drive, the events of the 3 weeks in NY, and the events of the holidays, I was just exhausted. So exhausted I didn't want to do anything today and didn't. The most I did was go and sign my new lease and do a bit of grocery shopping. That was all. The rest of the day I vegged on internet TV catching up on my Heroes season. The madness begins again tomorrow. I feel I will finally be calm once the second holiday is over and I'm settled into my new abode. Here's to the New Year.