Belittled in Ballet..

The other day I took my first step to becoming a "smoother" and more "fluid" dancer by revisiting a root of dance. Ballet. Every teacher I've ever taken from says that most dance is rooted in ballet and modern dance. I don't like taking ballet because there's so much to think about when you're doing it. You have to have proper placement of the head and arms. Your feet have to be pointed. Legs turned out. Lift from the hips. All this in a few moves. So much to think about. I read the class descriptions and determined I had more vocabulary than the basic class and the next best time and class was an advanced beginning class. I should know by now that "advanced beginning" is not only an oxymoron, but Broadway Dance Center's term for intermediate, but "advanced beginning" makes it look less intimidating. So, I go in expecting to work my technique and learn a few new things. Learn, I tried. The routines were spouted off as if we were conversing to each other. Needless to say my ballet vocabulary was not that strong and neither was my coordination for that level. I attempted all the barre excercises, and fell drastically behind in some. Especially in frappes. It was the first time I actually walked out of a class after the warm up excercises. The instructor taught a little combination on the floor before I left. He verbalized most of it and taught the whole thing in one swoop. I tried it. Then I left before they started leaping, going across the floor, and dividing into groups. Next time it'll be the beginner class for me. I'll just keep stepping back until my technique grows stronger. Roots. Back to the roots. Oy!