Reflections

I just saw the sappiest movie since Titanic (well for me and from what I can remember). This falls in the same category as Beaches, Ghost, and Titanic. There are probably others, but that’s all I can remember right now. It’s "The Notebook." It’s the story of two lovers who after all life’s woes found each other in true spirit and left the world together in their old age side by side. The wife has dementia. A disease that cripples the brain much like Alzheimer’s. It’s entirely sappy and had me balling throughout the movie thinking about my aunt and just parallel storylines with my own emotions in love. It was a truly romantic move and it was great to watch it with Chris. It’s amazing what love does to you. I know when it’s real love because of the range of emotions I go through when you find someone like that. I can feel others notice it too. They see the general happiness surrounding you, an aura of light, or a twinkle in the eye. A girl who came out to help in light of the Zaandam's recent injury case gave everyone a note to say goodbye today. She was only on for a few weeks and we'll be getting a replacement next week. It was real sweet about what she said though. In her note to me she said she noticed “everything about you seems more brighter, more confident, and more outgoing.” I guess more so than in the studio just 4 months ago. Of course the studio process was really just getting my feet wet again after a 2 year break. I can’t believe what 2 1/2 years off my life did to me. 2 1/2 years of stressing about money, love, and trying to get my career going. Two years of that in a stressful environment on Wall Street and living in one of USA's most stressful cities. It’s funny how certain things can just suck the life out of you. It's also funny how others can feel the energy you emit. I guess when you’re happy it really does show and when you’re heading down the wrong path, you bring others down with you. I want to keep this string of happiness going. Just getting to perform has been making me so happy. Now I have the added bonus of a developing relationship with a talented and heartwarming guy, travel, and more friends. I'm growing again out here, and I can only look to brighter and better things ahead of me. Next time a door slams in my face I won’t just lock myself in and wallow in self-pity. I’ll fight my way out and break free. Opportunities are only lost to those who LET them pass by.
One more thought that just hit me. We have cast chat and a little backstage tour with the passengers the last day of the cruise. Someone asked what advice we'd give to an aspiring performer. I took the answer and looked right at him and said "not to give up. Take dance classes, acting classes, voice lessons, and go to an audition with confidence. This business is image based and carries a lot of rejection because you may not have the right look, the right voice, the right style, or whatever, but not because you don't have talent. Take chances and don't let criticism eat you alive, but use it as fuel to make yourself better. Just never give up and keep trying." I consider myself a fighter when I want to be. I guess I should start listening to my own advice.